¡Hola Papi!

¡Hola Papi!

Writing, art, and more from John Paul Brammer.

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I'm the Weekend Boyfriend

Papi, am I asking for too much here.Open in app or onlineI'm the Weekend BoyfriendPapi, am I asking for too much here.John Paul BrammerMar 24PreviewSaveThis column is for paid subscribers to Hola Papi.As a paid subscriber, you can read all the columns, leave comments, and send me a letter with a bet

16 hours ago

Can I Ask Where You're From?

I'm not sure when or if it's appropriate Open in app or onlineCan I Ask Where You're From.I'm not sure when or if it's appropriateJohn Paul BrammerMar 21SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Substack.If youve ever wanted

3 days ago

We Have 'Cocaine Bear' at Home

Bear (2010), Recapped and Reviewed Open in app or onlineWe Have 'Cocaine Bear' at HomeBear (2010), Recapped and ReviewedJohn Paul BrammerMar 16SaveListenWelcome back to the Criterion Garbage Collection.In our last installment, we recapped and reviewed Assassin 33 A., the Christian film where they sh

1 week ago

Should We Buy a Castle?

We need to move, but it's tearing our relationship apart.Open in app or onlineShould We Buy a Castle.We need to move, but it's tearing our relationship apart.John Paul BrammerMar 14SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Su

1 week ago

Am I in a Cult?

Papi, what even is a "cult" anyway.Open in app or onlineAm I in a Cult.Papi, what even is a "cult" anyway.John Paul BrammerMar 8PreviewSaveThis column is for paid subscribers to Hola Papi.As a paid subscriber, you can read all the columns, leave comments, and send me a letter with a better chance of

2 weeks ago

My Friends Want My Ex Gone

But Papi, I see things a little differently Open in app or onlineMy Friends Want My Ex GoneBut Papi, I see things a little differently John Paul BrammerMar 4SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Substack.If youve ever wan

2 weeks ago

I'm Too Busy for My Friends

Is it okay to be a little selfish right now, Papi.Open in app or onlineI'm Too Busy for My FriendsIs it okay to be a little selfish right now, Papi.John Paul BrammerFeb 28PreviewSaveThis column is for paid subscribers to Hola Papi.As a paid subscriber, you can read all the columns, leave comments, a

3 weeks ago

Browse Zillow With Me

Let's microdose home ownership together Open in app or onlineBrowse Zillow With MeLet's microdose home ownership togetherJohn Paul BrammerFeb 24SaveListenI spend a lot of time on Zillow for someone who cant afford a house.Whenever I dont know what else to do on my computer, my finger automatically g

1 month ago

Fixing 'Real Friends of WeHo'

Mistakes were made Open in app or onlineFixing 'Real Friends of WeHo'Mistakes were madeJohn Paul BrammerFeb 22SaveListenIm not going to lie, I bought the cart before the horse here.I watched every episode of the highly controversial Real Friends of WeHo thinking I could surely make content out of it

1 month ago

I Want to Be the Victim

Papi, I'm sick of being the bad guy Open in app or onlineI Want to Be the VictimPapi, I'm sick of being the bad guyJohn Paul BrammerFeb 20PreviewSaveThis column is for paid subscribers to Hola Papi.As a paid subscriber, you can read all the columns, leave comments, and send me a letter with a better

1 month ago

The Christian Film Where They Shoot Jesus

Recapped and reviewed Open in app or onlineThe Christian Film Where They Shoot JesusRecapped and reviewedJohn Paul BrammerFeb 17SaveListenWarnings: Incredibly racist movie where they shoot God with a gun.Long read because I couldnt get the recap any shorter.Father, forgive them, they knew not what t

1 month ago

Happy, You Know, Whatever

I drew some Valentine's cards for you Open in app or onlineHappy, You Know, WhateverI drew some Valentine's cards for youJohn Paul BrammerFeb 14SaveListenHistorically, Valentines Day has been rough for me.Just like it was for Saint Valentine, who, according to Wikipedia, was imprisoned, tortured, an

1 month ago

Things I Do Like Hearing

A shorter list Open in app or onlineThings I Do Like HearingA shorter listJohn Paul BrammerFeb 13PreviewSavePhoto by Math on UnsplashLast week, I published a list of things I do not like hearing.I was honestly expecting more pushback on it, but it seems people are generally aligned on the phrases we

1 month ago

Things I Do Not Like Hearing

And why I do not like them Open in app or onlineThings I Do Not Like HearingAnd why I do not like themJohn Paul BrammerFeb 7SaveListenPhoto by Franco Antonio Giovanella on UnsplashWhen I think of the grand and noble tradition of blogging, when I think of what the craft is fundamentally built upon, I

1 month ago

I Want What They Have

Papi, how do I overcome my envy.Open in app or onlineI Want What They HavePapi, how do I overcome my envy.John Paul BrammerFeb 3PreviewSaveThis column is for paid subscribers to Hola Papi.As a paid subscriber, you can read all the columns, leave comments, and send me a letter with a better chance of

1 month ago

I Hate My Writing Group

Papi, should I ditch these guys.Open in app or onlineI Hate My Writing GroupPapi, should I ditch these guys.John Paul BrammerJan 31SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Substack.If youve ever wanted advice from a Twitter-

1 month ago

Stability Is Smothering Me

Should I quit my job and pursue Broadway instead.Open in app or onlineStability Is Smothering MeShould I quit my job and pursue Broadway instead.John Paul BrammerJan 24SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Substack.If you

2 months ago

Does My Friend Kind of Suck?

Papi, I don't want to lose them, but they're a flake Open in app or onlineDoes My Friend Kind of Suck.Papi, I don't want to lose them, but they're a flakeJohn Paul BrammerJan 18PreviewSaveThis column is for paid subscribers to Hola Papi.As a paid subscriber, you can read all the columns, leave comme

2 months ago

Am I My (Lack of) Career?

Papi, not having a job is getting me down Open in app or onlineAm I My (Lack of) Career.Papi, not having a job is getting me downJohn Paul BrammerJan 16SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Substack.If youve ever wanted a

2 months ago

A Scene From My Graphic Novel

Sketches, Samples, Progress Open in app or onlineA Scene From My Graphic NovelSketches, Samples, ProgressJohn Paul BrammerJan 13SaveListenI wanted to share some sample illustrations from the graphic novel Ive been working on.What I would say for now is that the book deals a lot with language, and wi

2 months ago

Things I Know About Writing

An unedited list Open in app or onlineThings I Know About WritingAn unedited listJohn Paul BrammerJan 10PreviewSavePhoto by Aaron Burden on UnsplashOh dear, Ive decided to make the grave mistake of offering writing advice.Some might ask (I among them), why would you do that.Writing is a nebulous thi

2 months ago

A Sweet Guy Broke My Heart

Papi, will I ever trust again.Open in app or onlineA Sweet Guy Broke My HeartPapi, will I ever trust again.John Paul BrammerJan 5SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Substack.If youve ever wanted advice from a Twitter-ad

2 months ago

Things I'm Bringing to 2023

Another list Open in app or onlineThings I'm Bringing to 2023Another listJohn Paul BrammerDec 24SaveListenPhoto by Sincerely Media on UnsplashFollowing up my list of things Im leaving in 2022, this is my list of things Im bringing into 2023.Or, at least the things I came up with off the top of my he

3 months ago

Things I'm Leaving in 2023

A list Open in app or onlineThings I'm Leaving in 2023A listJohn Paul BrammerDec 21SaveListenPhoto by Trust "Tru" Katsande on UnsplashIm going to be honest with you.Im a bit too cynical for New Years Resolutions.Sure, Im ostensibly an advice columnist, but that doesnt mean I actually want to improve

3 months ago

I Want to Be 'Known'

But Papi, is it even possible.Open in app or onlineI Want to Be 'Known'But Papi, is it even possible.John Paul BrammerDec 19SaveListenHola Papi.is the preeminent deranged advice column from writer and author John Paul Brammer, now living on Substack.If youve ever wanted advice from a Twitter-addled

3 months ago